Are you a Helicopter Parent?

First, I have to confess, I am a helicopter parent. Just not in the traditional meaning.

I don’t hover over my kids, I hover over the school.

Both my wife and I get involved at the school and support all the kids. Because we do, our kids are recognized at school and it is easier for us to talk to teachers about what is happening.

Both my wife and I have been at this for 20 years now. My wife became a PTA president the year our oldest started kindergarten. I started working with School Community Councils at the same time. At one point my wife served on three PTAs and was the acting Region Director for PTA. I was serving on three SCCs. Yes, we are involved.

All of our kids have learned it’s okay to have mom and dad in school. They don’t yell at the teacher and make you do dumb stuff. They are just involved.

We attend the meetings we are supposed to attend. We support our kids’ activities like sports and theater and choir and everything else. We buy cookie dough and license plate covers and anything else going on. We even crash dances to make sure everything is okay.

Our kids expect us and they are not embarrassed by our being there.

But we also expect our kids to succeed. We check the grades online to see how the kids are doing. We encourage our kids to meet with their counselor and make sure they are on track for graduation. When we have questions we ask them. And we expect answers back.

We have sent our kids to school with a paper asking their teachers to tell us how they are doing in school. When we go to Parent-Teacher conferences, we go talk to the teachers our kids are struggling with. If we get to the others that’s okay. But we get to the ones that we really need to get to. My kids have halos, but I don’t need them polished at that conference.

Our experience, by being involved, has been marvelous. One of the high points did come at a Parent-Teacher conference. We were setting up the PTSA table in the gym and one of the teachers came up and said, “Let me save you having to stand in line. Here is what your student is doing and this is what I need to have him do.” It was great. We skipped the line but got the information we needed.

Last year my daughter failed a math class. We went to the teacher and asked, “Is there anything she can do?” We did not ask for a change of grade or yell at the teacher and say how could she possibly flunk our daughter. We asked a simple question. Because the teacher knew us and how we work with other teachers she said, “Go online and see if there are assignments she can make up and see if there are enough that if she does them she can pass the class.” We checked and there were enough. We talked to the teacher again and she approved of the work, we got started and our daughter turned them in. When she did, she did not earn enough points so the teacher had her do some other assignments that would make up the points. My daughter did not get an A. She barely passed the class. But that is all she needed and all we were asking for. If she had not, we would have had the teacher help us find alternative ways to get credit for that class.

Why did this work? Because we are helicopter parents. We are involved in a lot of ways at schools. And, most importantly, we have created a high level of trust with everyone at our schools. They know we care. And they know we support them in their quest to educate our children.

And that is all we can really ask for.